well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize