He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
