In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
