Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
