these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
