Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
