its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize