Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
