a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
operation harelip BJ is a go
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
