HIV tests are more positive than that guy
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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