This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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