beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
