It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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