in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
