Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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