I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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