it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
