I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
