weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
