Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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