We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
