thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Are my feet made of real feet?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
