you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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