New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
