you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I need a burrito and a hug.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
