So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
