He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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