well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Barsexuality is the new black.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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