We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
