shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
