I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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