I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
