I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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