I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
