Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
