my sisters under your porch take her home
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
