the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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