Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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