after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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