please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
