He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
