You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
