We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Couch. On fire.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize