Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
