Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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