my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
