I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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