i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
