Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
