it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You made out with two different species that night
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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