why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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