I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Come see our sink grown plant.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
