how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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