I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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