It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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