Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
