He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
